When I Couldn’t Do Faith the Way I Used To

by DeneenTB (Troupe-Buitrago)

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Mark 12:30 (NIV)

When It All Changes

There was a season in my life when I physically could not “do” my faith the way I had before.

I had just been diagnosed with MS, and almost overnight, everything that once felt normal… didn’t. My energy was unpredictable. My body didn’t cooperate. My capacity was limited in ways I had never experienced. Even simple things felt heavy, including my time with God.

Before that season, I had rhythms I trusted. Structure. Consistency. Ways of connecting with God that felt right, and if I’m honest, ways I believed were the right way. Quiet time looked a certain way. Prayer looked a certain way. Spiritual growth had a rhythm I could measure.

But in that first year with MS, I couldn’t keep up.

Not physically. Not mentally. Not emotionally.

And what surprised me most was this: the hardest part wasn’t my diagnosis. It was the quiet fear that I was failing God.

Because when you can’t show up the way you used to, you start questioning everything. Am I doing enough? Is this enough? Why does this feel so hard now?

So, I tried to hold on. I pushed myself to maintain what I could. I tried to recreate what used to work.

But instead of feeling close to God, I felt frustrated. Disconnected. And honestly, a little defeated.

I didn’t have language for it at the time, but looking back, I can see what was happening.

I wasn’t losing my faith. I was being invited to rethink it.

Because what if the way I had learned to grow spiritually… wasn’t the only way?

In Mark 12:30, Jesus tells us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. For most of my life, I treated that like a checklist, something to balance, something to prove, something to do well.

But in that season, I didn’t have the strength to do that.

Literally.

And that’s when something began to shift.

What if this verse isn’t about doing everything equally… but about understanding how you’re designed to love God?

I began to notice that even when I couldn’t “perform” my faith the way I used to, I was still connecting with Him, just differently.

• Sometimes it looked like quietly processing my emotions with God when I didn’t have the words, heart.
• Other days, it was simply noticing His presence in small, ordinary moments, soul.
• There were times I could only hold onto a single truth instead of studying deeply, mind.
• And days when trusting Him in what I could do was the most faithful thing I had to offer, strength.

And for the first time, I realized something that changed everything:

God wasn’t measuring my faith by how well I kept up with a routine.

He was meeting me in how I was designed, even in my limitation.

An Invitation

That season reshaped my understanding of faith.

Not as something I have to perform, but as something I’m invited to live in alignment with.

That season reshaped my understanding of faith.
Not as something I have to perform, but as something I’m invited to live in alignment with.

Maybe you’re in a season like that right now.

Where your energy is low.
Where your capacity has shifted.
Where what used to work… doesn’t anymore.

If so, can I gently offer you this?

You’re not falling behind in your faith. And you’re not failing God.

You may simply be in a season where He’s inviting you into a deeper, more personal way of walking with Him, one that was never meant to look like anyone else’s.

If you’ve never considered how your design shapes your faith, it might be the missing piece you’ve been looking for.

About DeneenTB

DeneenTB is a Faith Growth & Work Alignment Strategist and Author who helps driven Christian women stop forcing faith routines that don’t fit and instead build personalized, sustainable rhythms that align with how God uniquely designed them. 

Through her Personalized Faith Plan™, she equips women to grow closer to God in a way that fuels their work, leadership, and everyday life without guilt, pressure, or starting over.

She lives in Colombia and loves slow mornings with coffee, time with God, and meaningful conversations that help women reconnect with their faith in real, life-giving ways.

To explore how you’re uniquely designed to connect with God, you can take DeneenTB’s Faith Shape Quiz