The Infinite and the Edge

If I had a thousand years, Lord, I would still run out of time…. As I sang the song in worship, my mind wandered, distorted the meaning, and made up extra verses: for Him, for me, for my family, for what I want to do here. But what is the magic in 90 or even ...

Protective Peace

My heart and my memories will always be there. Although there is much more to my home state of Kansas, thanks to Dorothy it is known as the tornado state. Growing up I heard many tales of them, but I don’t remember ever experiencing one. Sure, we all had basements in our midcentury ranchers and ...

The Giant

Our dog Pearl is tiny, even for a miniature dachshund. Six pounds of muscle and spine. She has assumed the role of protector of our yard, which is frequented by all sorts of unsavory characters: armadillos, chipmunks, moles, squirrels. But mostly, deer. If we start to say, “Pearl, there’s a deer…” she is at the ...

Fire and Trash

We burned most of our trash in metal barrels behind the milk shed. My older brother usually had that job, but sometimes I watched. I saw things go in recognizable. Then peering into the barrel days later, I’d find only thin, papery layers of black and silver ashes, stirring up the smell of finality with ...

Driving

Several months into my illness with absolutely no improvement, my vision and my faith began to get a little fuzzy. I didn’t reject God, but I sure was wondering why He hadn’t stepped in and saved the day. I never asked “Why Me?” but came to the point where I was often asking, “Why not?” ...

Playing It Safe

I had printed it out in decorative font and pinned it to the kitchen bulletin board months, maybe years, before my diagnosis. But it wasn’t until I stood before it, in Life Vest newly issued, counters overflowing with hospital bouquets and plants, that I began to internalize it. And it would be many months after ...

More Than Anything

As I walked through the front doors of Hobby Lobby, I saw two young girls taking pictures of each other in the floral section and soon realized they were posting to Instagram their #hobbylobbychallenge.  It’s the latest social media craze. Someone takes your pouty glamour shot framed to look like you’re in a beautiful outdoor ...

Suckers

28. February 2018 Blog Posts 2
In the thick of my dealing with my diagnosis, I kept hearing the words of Psalm 90:12: Teach us to number our days. I was drowning in internet statistics and numbers questions for my doctors. But they all dodged those quantifiable queries, giving the same advice: “none of us really know how long we have,” ...

Looking Ahead

26. February 2018 Blog Posts 0
In addition to stump-hating, I have been known to uproot a dormant plant that was still alive because it wasn’t coming out of its winter slumber fast enough for me. We even threw out the third grade class hamster we were watching over the holidays because I mistook his unusually deep sleep for death. Later, ...

Beyond the Stump

21. February 2018 Blog Posts 0
If you read under my story tab, you will learn that I asked for this. Not specifically, of course, but in a roundabout, God-is-listening kind of way. I wanted to have a clear sign of what God envisioned for the rest of my life. I had made some great plans, all involving worthy causes, and ...