A Heart Song When Obeying God Isn’t Easy
By Kim Solis
I delight to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart.Psalm 40:8
The words flow beautifully from my lips, but my mind hesitates in question, analyzing the Psalm from end to beginning:
Your law is within my heart.
I open my heart and take a look. I find a lot of things: fond feelings for people, places, and memories. And yes, I do find God’s word, a deep love and respect for what has been written as an expression of His desire for us. I find knowledge of His laws: ways I need to behave to be more like Him, kindness, patience, forgiveness. I have read His Word and my mind and heart rest on His commandments, fully aware of their presence and application to my life. But is this long-term storage or a temporary cache while I am studying for a class or preparing a blog? Do I know Your word or is it seen through my actions and attitudes?
Oh my God.
Do I really realize just who it is whose laws are in my heart? These are not the laws of a country demanding you follow or face the consequences. These are not laws of a parent who deserves respect for the time and love they have poured into us throughout the years. These are the laws of the Creator of the Universe who has entrusted a small part of eternity into our hands. He doesn’t ask much but deserves everything. Nothing we have or do is thanks to us. It is all thanks to Him.
I delight to do your will.
This is the part that makes me stop and take an honest look inside the motivation behind my actions. Yes, there are some parts of God’s will that are delightful. Being part of His body, sharing encouragement with fellow believers around the world, striving to be Christ-like alongside great friends and sister… this is a true delight! But what about those times when obedience is not so fun. Do I still delight?
Do I delight when I have to be kind to someone who has been rude to me? Do I delight when I am called to serve someone who hurt me deeply? Do I delight when obeying a commandment might even bring me physical harm?
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
James 1:2-3
Joy in trials? Yes. If they are trials of obedience, there will be joy when we persevere. Not fleeting circumstantial happiness, but deep long-lasting joy that comes from knowing we have received mercy and grace from He who has conquered pain, sorrow, sin, and death.
If they are trials of obedience, there will be joy when we persevere.
A year and a half ago, I lost my best friend and husband of 30 years to pancreatic cancer. Despite my arduous prayers and those of many others, his life still ended and I am still here, expected to carry on, to continue to serve and to continue to praise.
In the middle of the pain and grief, I claim this Psalm as my heart-song. Only when I store up His word in my heart (not just my mind), can I no longer look for a “why” and simply put my trust in He who sees all, knowing he loves me and my husband even more than I ever did (and do!).
I long for the following phrases to be a chorus echoed in my actions:
When obeying God seems illogical and arduous…
“Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.”
(Thank you for your example, Peter… Luke 5:5)
When obeying God may bring accusation and judgment from the world around me…
“Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”
(Thank you for your example, Mary… Luke 1:38)
When obeying God means facing anguish, pain and fear…
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”
(Thank you for your example, Jesus… Luke 22:42)
Because your law is stored in my heart, O my perfect and trustworthy God.
I delight to do your will, no matter what that might be.
About Kim
Kimberly Faith Solis is a missionary, teacher, speaker, writer, and certified translator. She is also a recent widow and an even more recent grandmother. Kim is a dear friend, and translated Divine Detour into Desviación Divina.